Sick. :< and HAlloween goodness...

Meh I'm sick AGAIN. While that's not entirely surprising, it's still a pain in the ass. Yes Stevie, I know calling myself sick is bad coz my body might hear me and start acting sick. But when I actually have a fever, I earned my rights to calling myself sick. o_O

Anyway, it's Halloween today. I don't know if I'm looking forward to little kids knocking on the doors, but I do like reading about what the US people come up with to make people spend money.

Like this: Play-Doh Halloween Trick or Treat Bag. What made them think handing out little box of Play-Doh to little kids wanting candies is beyond me. I can picture little kids eating those play-doh already... But hey, how else is play-doh going to cash in for Halloween?

There's more example of Halloween loolies here and here.

I like the white "spooky" nerds in the first link. That looks cool. (And I like nerds. Nerds are the coolest.) Too bad we can't get those here... Then again, right now with my sore throat, I can't have any candy.

Curse the germs.

The reality of race

So the insurance people sent the loss adjuster over and do the paper work. Lovely lady, and then she said she saw someone suspecious walking down the street with gloves on and a rubbish bag. We checked, it was actually our neighbour's son. Granted it was a bit suspecious looking, why the hell is he walking down the street with gloves on anyway? But the way the lady stressing on the point that he's an islander.... that's what got me.

I can't get rid of stereotype, I used to also have problem with dealing with racial stereotypes myself. But then what can we do?

By some amazing coincident I came across this page today on the idea of race, and whether it exist of not. I used to be very strongly against the idea of having racial boundaries. We're all human. But the guy who wrote about pro-race division said something there that does kinda strike me: "How can we combat racism if we don't acknowledge race exist?" Just becasue some of us deny it doesn't mean everyone does.

After reading about the antagonist's view, I was like "hell yeah!". But then when I read the argument on the other side, some part of the proponent's view was very valid too. It's not so much that there's race in the sense that it makes a race superior, but the fact that some of us are physically different enough to be told apart. I think in a sense, it does make sense that after being "confined" to our space for so long that we now look so different from each other.

Well, other than that random commentary for race, I haven't been doing too much. I think I'm still in the mist of the depression. (Then again it comes and goes I guess. This is just a particularly bad one I guess.) Kinda annoying that I've already used up the free couselling from uni. That's ok. I'll survive.

State of Fear

It's silly, I know. But right now I'm kinda scared to go anywhere. It hasn't been a good year really, with the car crashes and break in. And now my dizzy spell is back. *sigh*

Dosing myself on lemon and honey at the moment. See my logic is that if I can't make the drink for Petey right now (well, I don't think I can drive right now... dizzy spell is bad...) at least I can dose myself up on vitamin C :P

Anyway, I think I'm pissed off about the fact that now home doesn't seem safe anymore, than the actual loss of stuff. Granted a lot has been taken, but then again, in a way, it's just stuff. I know, I've never been really materialistic to start with. But compared with the fact that now I don't even feel safe at home, stuff doesnt' seem to matter. In a way I don't even care TOO much about my favourite watch. I don't wear it often.

But I can't even sleep in my own room now dammit! I woke up like... a gazillion times last night. Now I'm all tried and dizzy. *sigh*

Only stupid people goes into crime. o_O

Another break in

This is like the 2nd time we have a break in at my place. Man this is getting kinda creepy. This time they actually succeed in getting something: they got my favourite watch, mum's wedding rings, and about $1000 in cash.

The whole family is a wee bit shocked (understandably), not to mention paranoid. They gone through everything.

I don't know what to type really. I think I'll update again later maybe.

The Long Weekend

I was looking forward to the long Labour Weekend all last week, and when it finally arrived, it's one of the msot surreal and weird weekends I've had.

Okay, see there're these two friends of ours who've been together for 8 years. Perfect couple. Everyone thought they're going to get married soon. Living together for, well, a long time. They've been the universal constant. In fact whenever I got worried about Pete and I might have problems later he'll bring up those two and say "See? You can't imagine those two having problems can you?"

Saturday, the unimaginable happened. Got a txt from the girl, they broke up. Out of the blues. Every one was in shock.

Including the girl.

We haven't really talked to the guy, so I don't really want to comment. I'm sure he has his reasons. But really, it brought back A LOT of my own history, and suddenly it also put all my problems into perspective.

Not saying she can't make it through, and she's doing a lot better than I would if I'm in her place. But somehow my project progress seems to be a tiny tiny problem.

Besides, it's kinda moving along.

*sigh* I'm just in a strange mood. It's weird how much I get affected. But I guess that's just me...

Rat bating: REALLY not amused.

Ok, read this, and tell me what's wrong with it.

Finished? Can you find which part I have problem with? Here's a clue:

Different methods were used on Otata: buried traps, peanut butter, poison and even trained dogs. Not until more than four months after its release was the rat finally killed, in a trap baited with fresh penguin.

WTF?!

My dearest penguin minions: don't panic, I won't let you become rat bait. In fact I didn't even think you CAN use penguins as rat bait. But there you have it. I'm outraged. As the spokeperson for the penguin race (well, self appointed as I might be), I demand an explaination as to WHY they even think of that idea.

*sigh*, I know, the penguins would've been dead to start with. But really... somehow it still hurts a little.

Stupid rat.

Lazy day - again

I don't know how many lazy day I've had, but today is definitely one of them. And I think I deserve it dammit! I finally figure out the maths and why there's a difference between the two algo, today I just need to tweak the numbers to make it look okay...

So yeah, that's it from my for today. Now I'll go tweak those number to make them all looking shiny...

Sudoku, oragnic drink, and beign generally confused

Sudoku

It's weird: I've decided to waste more time of sudoku, and it ended up that I spend similar time on both the easy and medium level. I'm not too sure what that says about me. But nonetheless I'm confused.

Organic Lemon Lime and Bitters

Okay, first of all, I'm not to big fan of "organic food". Sure, I eat things that are carbon based. But the word used in the sense as "organic lemon lime and bitters" means jack all. Here's the list of ingredients:

Carbonated water

Organic sugar cane sugar

Organic lemon concentrate

Organic lime juice

Natural lemon and bitters flavour

Are you confused about the items? I am. In that order. Natural lemon and bitters flavour... huh?

Confused

Seems like I've been kinda confused way too easily, even on my standard, today. I think it's because I'm still kinda sleepy. But for some reason I actualyl understand the paper more today than when I was reading it yesterday. I wonder if it's because I'm slightly more awake today. Eitherway: I probably should take advantage of it and actually do some coding. :P

Petals Around the Rose

I'm WAY too sleepy today. Don't know why I'm so tired this morning, probably becauseit's Monday again. But it's just one of those days which is so very hard to actually work since my brain hasn't really woke up...

Anyway, after fruitlessly TRYING to work, I decided it was more productive to check on slashdot, as I do, and came across this riddle/puzzle called Petals Around the Rose. I was pretty much hooked on it and determined to crack how it works. I did. :P It took quite a while (well, good 20 minutes) and makign me feeling slightly stupid after I figured it out. But yeah, it's a lot better to make others suffer and try to figure out the rules too. It's one of those games. :P

And I've signed the register and sworn not to give the game away. :P Not even you Petey. Muhahahaha. *ahem*

This would also make a good drinking game I think. Or soemthing to play to frustrate the hell out of everyone. :P The story they put on there about Bill Gates playing this game was quite funny too.

Now, if only my research can be cracked just like that too...

P.S.: The folks on slashdot figured smart people takes a lot longer to solve this game. I'm not too sure the fact that I solve it in reasonable time is actually a good sign...

I am dyslexic!!

I swear!! There's no other explaination why I can't tell apart left or right, or callign Dan Brown's book "Demons and Angels"... (or "Demons and Angles" for that matter. I can just so picture it now: Demons taking over the world, while the protagonist try to save the world be solving geometric problems with a protractor.)

I also have a tendency to spell word as it sounds, or words with similar sound. My worst one have to be spelling "enough" as "in love". Why? I'm not too sure. My head's screwed up.

Or: maybe I'm dyslexic. Aha!!

This would also explain why I'm prone to motion sickness! It's true! I read it on wiki! People with motor dyslexia can't tell apart left/right, and are prone to motion sickness. That's me alright!

See! I'm right all along! I tried to tell people there's something wrong with me, they just won't listen. That'd show 'em!

Incidentally: I was also reading about hypochondriac... I think I'm one of those too. :P

Free membership for a week!

Wee! I get free trial membership in DeviantART for a week! :P Not that it's THAT different, but I'm still happy.

Anyway, I'm still having my dizzy spell. Hopefully it'll go away tomorrow when I'm back at uni. I think it's partly just.. stress. What stress? I'm not too entirely sure..

Will keep it short, otherwise I'm going to be sick again...

Stupid rain

Yesterday's rain was very impressive. When I left home, sky was blue and I was happy. Then 3 minutes later: it's pouring with rain. That's okay, but it doesn't stop until I got into my office, which means I was walking in that pouring rain for a good 15 minutes.The steps I normally take to go up into uni has turned into a waterfall. Pretty, yes. Annoying? You bet. It was almost like a water obstacle course.

So today: I'm sick. And it's like my brain's stuck in a lower gear, and it's just not moving..

I thought I JUST got better!!! Stupid Auckland weather. Grr..

Plan of Attack

Somehow I just desperately need to have some sort of plan to see how I'm going this month, so I think I need a plan of attack.

To be honest I'm kinda really scared about my research, which is why I need another plan of Attack I guess. After this I shall be a bit more relaxed, hopefully I'll get enough done to keep me happy by Christmas.

*sigh* I am just so very tired. o_O

Confession of a Engineering Postgrad

I've grown up to be quite arrogant. People might not agree but it's true. It's not like I rub it in people's faces: that would be immature. But I expect to be good at everything.

Problem is as you climb up the life's ladder, competition gets tougher and tougher. Once upon a time I was top in the school, then in engineering I was above average, and right now in postgrad, I'm almost at the bottom rig.

I suppose my problem is the fact that I get used to measuing my success by comparing myself to others. And it's how I've been since I was born. I win something in almost every competition I entered (except the sport ones). Anothing from art to drama, to maths and chemistry. So when I don't get the same sort of recognition for this current project: I panicked.

Not to mention all around me are now people much better than I am. I really doesn't help.

The research isn't going well either. Granted I seem to be the only one who thinsk that, but it doesn't change the fact that it's not going anywhere. And hey, others don't know how much I've actually done in the project now do they.

Today's lesson from the counsellor was not to compare myself with others, or at least see the whole picture. It sounds very good in my head, I just have to actually stop doing it. But when I've been raised to do so, it's extremely hard.

Curse the Hong Kong education system.

Yes... yes, I'm definitely sick. o_O (and hacking!)

Decided to stay home again today, and over slept, as usual. And what do you know, now I've got a headache and feeling kinda dizzy. Not to mention my usual muscle ache in every friggin place on my body. Yet I'm still not quite sick enough to justify not working on my project. I wonder if I'm just imagining myself being sick or that I'm a workaholic.

Either way, the little part I'm working on right now (which I'm not allowed to talk about in details thanks to my contracts and my very paranoid supervisor) is somewhat working. But not perfectly. I hacked it yesterday to make it better, and I THOUGHT I have a better way of hacking it. No I don't. I thought I do, but I don't. So right now it's back to yesterday's methods, which isn't very robust, and I would really rather do what I coined as "dynamic hacking", meaning put in an arbitary threshold, which actually changes according to some other arbitary measurement. That's how I passed my Master degree anyway. It almost sound legit enough to be put in a paper and say it's an equation. Heck, the paper I'm working on does something similar anyway, just not enough on it.

My friend and I were just talking about the whole engineering degree, how all we ever do is hacking. And it's true. He's doing his PhD in robotics, and a lot of it is hacking. Really. And a lot of the papers I read has this "trail and error threshold" which of coz differ from signal and signal. They still get published. That's why I proposed to use this "dynamic hacking" business, to actually calibrate the threshold on the go. (Some may want to call it an adpative threshold, but it's not quite the same. It's not. You know what I mean.) And maybe I can actualyl get my thesis done just by that!

Right now though: I can't really think, and my body hurts!! Tea makes me better though. And rightnow I'm drinking a nice cup of Earl Grey (which does NOT taste like soap!) and trying to perfect my hack.

Life of an engineering postgard is fun like that...

Sneezing fit

I've been sneezing all afternoon. Yup I think I might have a mild cold.

It's been an interesting day debugging my code. By debugging I meant hacking. It works. Kinda. Under certain circumstances, using the parameter I just happen to want to plug in. *sigh*

I think I can make it better, but it's almost 4, and I really can't be bothered. o_O So I'll see whether I can be bothered tomorrow.

It's hard to really start working when you're sick. But then again, knowing me, I should really be used to this by now. I'm almost always sick.

Stupid cold. o_O

Am I Sick?

I had a coughing fit just then, and I'm still wearing my big jacket. The technician in the robotic lab hasselled me about it but I just felt a bit cold. Maybe I DO have a cold.

Anyway, had a presentation today, and that went fine I think. I don't think I can get into the finals, but at least I didn't make a fool of myself. Plus you never know. But hey, I think I'm content in knowing I get a new USB drive. :P

Strange sort of afternoon, I think I am slightly sick, my neck is killing me too. Been trying to understand this paper with no luck. Maybe I'm just terribly tired. And I think I said before, I've just been extremely tired these few days.

LONG way away til break time. Until then I just have to hang on I think...

Dekita!!

Finally, after a whole morning of fiddling with the code (read: hack) it's working! IN fact it actually works better than the other one I implemented earlier on (which claims to be superior, but hey). So two more algo to go I think and I'll be done.

Met a girl from my high school whom I haven't caught up with since, well, since a long time ago. I can't help but to think I haven't done enough after my high school years, Pete assures me that finishing two degrees is something. o_O I dunno. I could be working and earning by now. But then again I actually like my research, so I can't complain.

I also promised work I'll look at this signal for them. ARGH I wish I have more time.

Other than that, life's business as usual. Besides the fact that I've decided not to talk to my dad again based on the fact that he said he thinks the Rolling Stones sounds like the contestants in NZ Idols. I think I can't communicate with him anymore. That's it. o_O